Over cocktails recently, the conversation turned … as it often does … to pets. My friend was sharing stories about her elderly chihuahua, Penny. She adores this dog … but finding a sitter, even for a few hours, is a major challenge. Penny travels easily, tucked into a carry-on, but for many women, the logistics of pet care are enough to ground travel plans altogether.

That struck a chord. My dad has raised Chinese pugs since boyhood, and when I was growing up, my sister and I would joke that the pugs often got more attentive care than we did. 

And then there was Duncan … my beloved Westie. He’s been gone for twenty years now, but I still haven’t brought myself to get another dog. Some losses leave a permanent imprint.

For years, we also had a rescue cat named Obsidian … “Sid” for short. He had a ritual. Every morning, without fail, he’d place a single paw on my face. Not to be fed. Not to be let out. He just wanted me to wake up … and meditate. He knew that was his time to curl up in my lap, in stillness.

I’ve been reflecting on that lately … how our pets, without words, can teach us what our bodies need.

We often think of pets as joyful companions, but science now shows they’re also profound stress-regulators. When we pet an animal, or even sit with one calmly, our brains release oxytocin … the same hormone that bonds mother to child. 

At the same time, cortisol … our primary stress hormone … drops. Heart rate slows. Muscles soften. The body finally lets go of its grip.

Just ten minutes of calm interaction with a pet can shift our entire stress physiology. And unlike most wellness practices, this one doesn’t require effort or willpower. It’s built into the relationship. The warm nose nudging your hand. The quiet breath beside you on the couch. The soft paw that says, “Let’s begin.”

So yes, pet ownership can reduce stress … but like anything, it’s about the context. If having a pet adds more pressure to an already-full plate, it may not be the best path to calm. In fact, it could work against your healing. But if that furry presence brings you back to yourself, even for a few minutes a day, that’s a powerful medicine.

As for us? We’ve chosen not to have pets in recent years. No dog hair on the couch … or my clothes. No litter box in the laundry room. But also … no soft paw on the cheek to say, “It’s time.” 

We’ve had to find other ways to trigger oxytocin. Massage. Touch. Gentle walks in nature. Long hugs.

So here’s your gentle nudge today … whether you have a pet or not, find a few moments to connect with something that soothes your nervous system. Something that says: “You’re safe. You can exhale now.”

Try This
☑ Pet your dog slowly for 2 minutes while noticing your breath.
☑ Stroke your cat and follow the rhythm of their purr.
☑ No pet? Press your hands to your heart and breathe slowly. The body doesn’t know the difference.
☑ Make a list of what gives you that warm, settled feeling … and build more of that in.

Oxytocin is your natural antidote to stress. You don’t need to buy it or earn it. You simply need to create space for it.

That’s what we’re doing together in this season of our lives. Less hustle. More harmony. The kind you can feel … even in a purring cat.

The StressLess Sanctuary is almost ready to welcome members. If you’re interested in joining me in the community, reply to this email and we’ll put you on the list. The founding members will get a REALLY great deal.